Lost in the lyrics lain in my membrane

Listening to every beat and every cord,

Drums beating to the sound of my heart,

It’s a symphony of art,

One sound out of tune, buzzing in to a room with no room.

Crowded mind of mine, these thoughts thought to be defeated with time,

Some drown it with wine, some cover it with saying “im fine” "I'm f i n e"

All I’ve got is belief,

I hold on to hope,

We all need relief,

Just trying to cope.

There is no light at the end of the tunnel unless you look,

I’m struggling just to pick up my holy book,

The bible was my revival but It’s got heavy in my hand,

The world trying to rival and rob me off the promise land,

Situations trying to make me forget of the promises on which I stand.

Ive never doubted Gods existence,

But ive never struggled with showing this much persistence.

We’re all facing battles and these scars are just memories,

And each memory means something to me,

I carry no shame to carry his name,

I know who I love, I know I’m just a man,

But the voice from above, it told me I can.

Listen to the high or listen to the low,

It’s a battle this I know,

But if you aim high when you’re feeling low

Before you know you’ll watch yourself grow

As you let yourself go.

Don’t hold on to yourself so tightly,

I let myself go and so demons try to bite me,

I look at them and say

 son of a bitch fight me.

I never walked in fear and for that im blessed,

But lately my tongue has professed that I am afraid,

This is not how I was made, this is not the path god has laid

CHILD DO NOT BE AFRAID CHILD DO NOT BE AFRAID

I can still feel you ringing in my ears,

Angelic voices singing away the fears,

You send me signs and you tell people to speak life into me,

My selfish heart whines and I say how weak I think I am to be.

You tell me you got more for me,

More and more for me, open your eyes away from the world child and see.

I look and I search to get a glimpse of light,

But I loose myself inside of the night,

These thoughts haunt the inside of my head,

The lies spread out wide like a wicked web

Get me out, get me out,

I feel so stuck,

But I know I put the glue on my own shoe,

Its me who chooses my positivity.

This is my life that I was told to live,

But its my soul that I chose to give,

I gave it to the Son

 and now I am a targeted one

 and he picks on me for fun,

but I say the war is won

the war is won,

this battle is done.

Half my day I give away,

Lost in my prayers,

Frost in my hairs

As seasons change,

The Frost turns to water,

As the sun gets hotter,

Summer sun, followed by a winter moon,

The night within the day,

Darkness go away,

I am not yours

I am not going to live the life of destruction

That you have in construction.

I am an architect building off a blueprint with red letters,

I am a bird who’s finding his feathers,

Each hidden deep within my soul,

My lips touch the coal,

Fire on the tip of my tongue,

A song in my heart yet to be sung.

I will not be afraid,

For you, for I,

Am wonderfully made.

Where have I been?

I've walked up and down these same streets a hundred times but every single instance is so different. 

I know each crack, i know where the two slabs of concrete don't meet evenly so I need to watch my step. I know the cars parked along the curb, at least some of them, the ones that are there week after week. 

I've walked these paths many times, most times there is someone walking next to me. but its the walks alone where i truly wonder. 

I have stuck inside my own shell for too long, i call it a cave. I run there, i pray there, and i hide there.

I've gone out of the country only but three times and i've never walked on the opposite side of the earth. I don't know where ill be or when i will get there. i simply know that i need to get out of this cave.

because well its dark and i can't see straight. I'm loosing sight of the light because I'm so caught in the dark. and You can not see in the dark, you cannot even see yourself in the dark. 

I've lost myself to many things too many times. I am not sure how to really find myself, I'm walking up and down these streets and i know where i am, i can remember where I've been, but now I look up from these cracks I've memorised and I start to question where i am going.