We all have battles.
It's really obvious, at least to me, that we're all facing something.
Whether its bills, loved ones, or thyself we all got something that's going on.
I'm at a point in my life where my gloves are ripping and my face is bloody.
I've got a lot of people telling me that they see greatness in me, but it doesn't really matter until i see it.
I'm in the ring fighting and fighting but the part that snares me is that I don't want to fight.
I guess you could call it a cage fight.
I read in a good book that it's the meek who inherit the world.
well what if i don't want the world and I'm still meek?
what do i have to gain but memories and scars?
Sometimes,
we all feel like we're running out of strength but gaining weights.
and i remember Hercules told me that
"a true hero isn't measured in the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. "
and well i have a big heart.
But i read somewhere that only God sees a mans heart.
I don't have much that I cling to but what I do, i cling to hard.
i guess what I'm saying is that i don't have a lot i fight for,
but what i do fight for, i fight for a lot.
I was taught empathy and compassion by my Father, yes my dad did a great job raising me, but he is not who I'm calling Father right now.
If you haven't gotten it by now I love God.
in fact he's the only thing I truly trust and if you are agitated by my belief in God than I'm sorry
but anger and agitation over love is truly evil.
what I'm getting at is that we have battles, both physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and its not about how much strength we exhibit in battle. Its about our cause, about our willingness to get up, and its about what makes us get back up.
I promise you that i would have heard the eternal Ref counting to three while i slip into the darkness of unconsciousness a long time ago if it was not for something bigger than myself.
I've been through a lot, and i've been through a lot less than some others. I don't compare my trials and turmoil to others because its not fair to them or to myself because undeniably the things we feel are real to us. These things may be sourced from deception and lies, but the responsibility of feeling them and handling them will forever be a real thing.
I don't have much left to say but I truly pray that you don't give up. shit i don't even know you but I'm still praying for you. When i pray for people I've never met i often wonder if I'm the only person who thinks and feels the way i do... and I'm starting to think i am.
but thats alright,
because God made us all different and thats what makes us so individually special to him.
I'll stop preaching but if I give you guys an inch today of who i am, its that I'm inexplicably passionate. And that my passion is what makes me live, and my passion is what kills me.
whatever you battle today, do not give up. you're not weak, you're not broken, and you're not done.
Keep fighting and dodge those uppercuts, there is nothing wrong with getting hit, but theres something abominable in giving up.
Jaming
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Lost in the lyrics lain in my membrane
Listening to every beat and every cord,
Drums beating to the sound of my heart,
It’s a symphony of art,
One sound out of tune, buzzing in to a room with no room.
Crowded mind of mine, these thoughts thought to be defeated
with time,
Some drown it with wine, some cover it with saying “im fine” "I'm f i n e"
All I’ve got is belief,
I hold on to hope,
We all need relief,
Just trying to cope.
There is no light at the end of the tunnel unless you look,
I’m struggling just to pick up my holy book,
The bible was my revival but It’s got heavy in my hand,
The world trying to rival and rob me off the promise land,
Situations trying to make me forget of the promises on which
I stand.
Ive never doubted Gods existence,
But ive never struggled with showing this much persistence.
We’re all facing battles and these scars are just memories,
And each memory means something to me,
I carry no shame to carry his name,
I know who I love, I know I’m just a man,
But the voice from above, it told me I can.
Listen to the high or listen to the low,
It’s a battle this I know,
But if you aim high when you’re feeling low
Before you know you’ll watch yourself grow
As you let yourself go.
Don’t hold on to yourself so tightly,
I let myself go and so demons try to bite me,
I look at them and say
son of a bitch fight
me.
I never walked in fear and for that im blessed,
But lately my tongue has professed that I am afraid,
This is not how I was made, this is not the path god has
laid
CHILD DO NOT BE AFRAID CHILD DO NOT BE AFRAID
I can still feel you ringing in my ears,
Angelic voices singing away the fears,
You send me signs and you tell people to speak life into me,
My selfish heart whines and I say how weak I think I am to
be.
You tell me you got more for me,
More and more for me, open your eyes away from the world
child and see.
I look and I search to get a glimpse of light,
But I loose myself inside of the night,
These thoughts haunt the inside of my head,
The lies spread out wide like a wicked web
Get me out, get me out,
I feel so stuck,
But I know I put the glue on my own shoe,
Its me who chooses my positivity.
This is my life that I was told to live,
But its my soul that I chose to give,
I gave it to the Son
and now I am a
targeted one
and he picks on me
for fun,
but I say the war is won
the war is won,
this battle is done.
Half my day I give away,
Lost in my prayers,
Frost in my hairs
As seasons change,
The Frost turns to water,
As the sun gets hotter,
Summer sun, followed by a winter moon,
The night within the day,
Darkness go away,
I am not yours
I am not going to live the life of destruction
That you have in construction.
I am an architect building off a blueprint with red letters,
I am a bird who’s finding his feathers,
Each hidden deep within my soul,
My lips touch the coal,
Fire on the tip of my tongue,
A song in my heart yet to be sung.
I will not be afraid,
For you, for I,
Am wonderfully made.
Wednesday, March 18, 2015
Where have I been?
I've walked up and down these same streets a hundred times but every single instance is so different.
I know each crack, i know where the two slabs of concrete don't meet evenly so I need to watch my step. I know the cars parked along the curb, at least some of them, the ones that are there week after week.
I've walked these paths many times, most times there is someone walking next to me. but its the walks alone where i truly wonder.
I have stuck inside my own shell for too long, i call it a cave. I run there, i pray there, and i hide there.
I've gone out of the country only but three times and i've never walked on the opposite side of the earth. I don't know where ill be or when i will get there. i simply know that i need to get out of this cave.
because well its dark and i can't see straight. I'm loosing sight of the light because I'm so caught in the dark. and You can not see in the dark, you cannot even see yourself in the dark.
I've lost myself to many things too many times. I am not sure how to really find myself, I'm walking up and down these streets and i know where i am, i can remember where I've been, but now I look up from these cracks I've memorised and I start to question where i am going.
I know each crack, i know where the two slabs of concrete don't meet evenly so I need to watch my step. I know the cars parked along the curb, at least some of them, the ones that are there week after week.
I've walked these paths many times, most times there is someone walking next to me. but its the walks alone where i truly wonder.
I have stuck inside my own shell for too long, i call it a cave. I run there, i pray there, and i hide there.
I've gone out of the country only but three times and i've never walked on the opposite side of the earth. I don't know where ill be or when i will get there. i simply know that i need to get out of this cave.
because well its dark and i can't see straight. I'm loosing sight of the light because I'm so caught in the dark. and You can not see in the dark, you cannot even see yourself in the dark.
I've lost myself to many things too many times. I am not sure how to really find myself, I'm walking up and down these streets and i know where i am, i can remember where I've been, but now I look up from these cracks I've memorised and I start to question where i am going.
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
2:04 AM drinking Organic Green te
I've never been one for talking.
well, actually i talk a lot.
But i've never been good at talking.
I mean i know how to keep up a conversation and keep it interesting and entertaining, but when it starts getting personal I just can't talk.
And I'm not like broken or something,
I know how to talk about myself, I know how to express myself, and I sort of know how to explain myself.
What I mean is that:
yeah,
I know how to talk about my life,
whats happened and happening; but it seems I've forgotten how to put myself in what I'm talking about.
when it comes to my emotions, I'm reserved.
I don't share them with everyone, and its a bit baffling.
I'm concerned because I'm Not Your Average Joe.™
I'm different than a lot of people, I still care about the little things.
I listen well.
I listen as you explain everything that is wrong for you.
I speak to you and explain everything will be alright with you.
I dont shoot people down I tell them they can fly, because why not?
I push forward and try my best not to get dragged backwards.
I'm not perfect and I don't ever want to be.
I've learned to love the kinks in my armour and the memories attached to them.
I know I have God on my side as my protector, teacher, guide, and hope.
I know that I've got a life and so I'm gonna live it to the fullest..
I know Ill come up to heavens gates in rags and bruises, sobbing in smiles, saying I used it, I used it all Dad. Everything you gave me I gave right back to your Glory.
I know he will tell me "You are home son." and I know one day I'll come home.
until then,
I'm just gonna keep talking...
¨∆˚∆∆˚˚∆∆˚∆∆˚˚∆˚∆˚˚˚∆∆˚∆∆˚∆˚˚∆˚˚∆˙˙
?I wonder who will listen¿
well, actually i talk a lot.
But i've never been good at talking.
I mean i know how to keep up a conversation and keep it interesting and entertaining, but when it starts getting personal I just can't talk.
And I'm not like broken or something,
I know how to talk about myself, I know how to express myself, and I sort of know how to explain myself.
What I mean is that:
yeah,
I know how to talk about my life,
whats happened and happening; but it seems I've forgotten how to put myself in what I'm talking about.
when it comes to my emotions, I'm reserved.
I don't share them with everyone, and its a bit baffling.
I'm concerned because I'm Not Your Average Joe.™
I'm different than a lot of people, I still care about the little things.
I listen well.
I listen as you explain everything that is wrong for you.
I speak to you and explain everything will be alright with you.
I dont shoot people down I tell them they can fly, because why not?
I push forward and try my best not to get dragged backwards.
I'm not perfect and I don't ever want to be.
I've learned to love the kinks in my armour and the memories attached to them.
I know I have God on my side as my protector, teacher, guide, and hope.
I know that I've got a life and so I'm gonna live it to the fullest..
I know Ill come up to heavens gates in rags and bruises, sobbing in smiles, saying I used it, I used it all Dad. Everything you gave me I gave right back to your Glory.
I know he will tell me "You are home son." and I know one day I'll come home.
until then,
I'm just gonna keep talking...
¨∆˚∆∆˚˚∆∆˚∆∆˚˚∆˚∆˚˚˚∆∆˚∆∆˚∆˚˚∆˚˚∆˙˙
?I wonder who will listen¿
Monday, January 26, 2015
Run my child.
well its not my child...
Just my picture of a really cool one.
Run to the Father with joy like a child chasing a bird.
Friday, January 23, 2015
People say..
People say.. People say..
Alright so things happen.
When they do you talk about them.
But you also listen, you hear a lot...
In your head,
other people voices,
other peoples voices in your head.
But what do you think?
What has your Spirit spoken?
When it comes to love, you are always suppose to chose love..
If you really truly believe in Love than you must walk in it.
People are gonna tell you a lot of things, but if you listen to them and not the love that moves you' you will be stuck standing still for a long time.
LOVE WILL MAKE YOU RUN.
Run with me and I'll carry you when your knees give out.
When I fall it will be into your lap or at his feet...
People come and go, but my love for you; for everyone, it will be hard not to remember.
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